Endless Ocean

Endless Ocean

by Jonathan David Helser

Our God really is like an endless ocean and bottomless sea.  There is always more of Him.  There is always more to learn, more ways to grow, more ways to experience His love.

The Lord gives us endless possibilities and options.

Because He is endless it means our dreams can be endless.

The impossible can be done.

Regurgitated Thoughts

At a time I don't remember and by a person I cannot recall, I heard insightful words eerily similar to these-

It is easy to believe God is good.  It is hard to see how God is good in your own life.

It is so much easier for me to see the goodness God has done in someone else's life.  Sometimes I even look at a subject receiving goodness and wonder why they aren't shouting praise to the Lord at that very moment.

And then I realize I am looking a mirror.  I am the subject receiving the goodness, yet I fail to recognize it.  I have become blind to God moving in my own life.  As much as I wish I could say I was the only person suffering from this ailment, I have become quite certain that I am not.

I have several theories as to why I might have become unable to see His goodness in my own life; most of my theories revolve around either pride or insecurity (which in-and-of itself might be pride- who am I to think I am anything beside who the Lord says that I am?)

Regardless of the cause, this is something I have been convicted of lately, and something I am trying to pray through.  I need a shift in thinking (is that a term?) and several head-smacks, I am sure.

As long as there is no time like the present, then today I see the goodness God has given to me in His using me to speak life into my friends.

That is a start. :)

The Thankful Game

  This is the thankful game.  If anyone has taken part in a trip with Adventures in Missions, you have probably played the thankful game at some point in time.  It's when you don't want to be thankful or you feel like you have nothing to be thankful for, but you thank God anyway because He is good!  Since I really need to be thankful right now (and don't feel like I have much to be thankful for), I am going to scream on the internet until I lose my internet voice.

Thank you papa for two jobs

thank you for making me able to pay my bills

thank you for having a plan for me

thank you for knowing my heart's desire

thank you for wanting to give me my heart's desire

thank you for knowing what is best for me

thank you for building a community around me

thank you for the Holy Spirit

and for Holy Spirit worship

thank you for loving me regardless of what I do

or what I don't do

or how I feel about my own self

or how I don't feel about my own self

thank you for not letting me have malaria again

thank you for giving me time to rest

thank you for new tires for my car

thank you not letting my old tires blow up

thank you for not letting me get in car accidents

thank you that you are still molding me into a more wonderful woman of You

thank you that you give me new determination every day

thank you that you are teaching me what beauty is

thank you for the unconditional-ity of your grace

thank you for speaking to me

thank you for guiding me

thank you for never having hurt me

thank you for your promises

thank you for your faithfulness

thank you for your own desire in chasing after my heart

thank you for restlessness

thank you for the desires you place in my heart

thank you for your sacrifice

thank you for never giving up

thank you for being a warrior

thank you for not letting me be defeated

thank you for setting me apart

thank you for making me in your likeness

thank you for technology

thank you for books

thank you for music

and harmonies

and dissonance

thank you for putting songs on the radio that we need to hear when we need to hear them

The list could (and should) keep going on forever.  Maybe I'll play the thankful game via blog again a later.

Home

I can't tell you how excited I am to be home.

How nice it is to have my bed,

my family,

my dogs,

my car.

Everything about home has been amazing and I rest in knowing I am exactly where I am meant to be.

When I came home from Uganda, all I could think about was when I was going on another trip again.

This time, all I can think about is how God is going to use me in my present situation.

What is my present situation?

I was unable to get enough financial aid to cover this semester at North Hennepin Community College, where I have spent the last year working toward my Associate of Science in business management, so I am not attending at this time.

Instead...

I have just gotten hired for two part time jobs, one at a local grocery store and one at a drugstore.

Other than that, I'm still waiting to see what awesome opportunities God has come my way...

I have no idea what they are yet, but I can only guarantee they will be amazing.

As my life back home begins to pick up speed again, I'll keep you filled in on the progression and the events of my adventures.

The Box

 Consider the box.

Think about it's edges, limitations, corners.

Boxes are dreadful things.

Whether it be physical or metaphorical, they are difficult to work with.

Lift with your legs, not your back!  How many times has a heavy cardboard moving box pulled a muscle?

So many times we are told to "think outside the box," meaning break out of traditional thinking, straining our brains and causing endless hours of stress trying to be original.

See?

Pesky.

Difficult.

Dreadful.

If boxes have edges, corners, and limitations, then God certainly does not fit inside a box.  I have been telling myself and others not to put God in a box for a while now.  It is one of my favorite things to tell people, because God has no limits.  There is nothing God can't do.  How could our omniscient, omnipotent God fit into a box?

I have been trying so hard to not put limits on God.  I have tried to keep all the doors, windows, and pathways in my life open to how God moves by not planning anything anymore.  I had decided that making plans causes me to get stuck in a single tunnel-like mindset.  So I decided to stop planning.  No planning = no limiting God.  Fool proof.

"But what if God wants you to plan," a dear friend asked me.

Crap.

You mean God might want me to plan?  You mean by trying not to limit God I have limited Him?  You mean that because our God is omnipotent He can make plans happen if He tells me to make them?
Crap.I guess I put God so far outside the box that I accidentally captured Him inside another.

PS I am leading a mission trip this summer with Adventures in Missions.  It costs me $1500 for two months out of the country (I will know which country I am going to soon).  If you are interested in supporting me, you can email me at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com or go here.  Be sure to select "The Passport" and to put "Kiersten Smith" in the participant name box.

Stop Being Lazy

Stop being lazy.

God shook me awake to the reality of how I have been treating my time since being back from Uganda.

I have been viewing this semester at school as a transition time.

I have been looking forward to the future so much that I have been absent in the present.

I have been asking God to show up, wondering where He was.

This entire time He was asking me to move.  To do something.  Anything.  To give Him an opening to show up and do wonderful things.

I've gotten bored because my days blend together and I perform the same monotonous tasks each week.

I have asked for adventure, but haven't even looked out the window to find it.

I have wanted God to do all the work.

You can lead Kiersten to water, but until she decides to stop looking past the horizon, she becomes stuck in the same spot.

In my looking forward to the future I have been lazy in the present.

But now, after God shook me a bit, I have resolved to stop being lazy.  I will work to put myself far enough out of my comfort zone that I lose myself and act solely as God asks me to.  I will stop thinking that this time at home is for me to wait on God to do something.  I will create windows in my conversations for the Lord to come through, giving Him the opportunities He needs.

PS I am leading a mission trip this summer with Adventures in Missions.  It costs me $1500 for two months out of the country (I will know which country I am going to soon).  If you are interested in supporting me, you can email me at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com or go here.  Be sure to select "The Passport" and to put "Kiersten Smith" in the participant name box.

Curious Coincidence

First of all, happy Easter weekend!  It is finished!  In my opinion, this is a wonderfully appropriate song to celebrate and praise God with.  It's another one of my favorites.  You can listen to it while you read my blog.  :)

As many of you know, I am currently enrolled as a student at a local community college.  Because of my full time status I spend entirely too many hours in class.  Luckily, to avoid a terribly monotonous semester, God has placed next to me a woman with whom I am all too similar.  We are both hilariously funny (I'll prove it to you; ask me to tell you a joke), we both drive Avalons, and we are both crazily in love with Jesus.

But that is not where the similarities end.

One Wednesday, weeks ago, we both were having a rough day.  No, that's an understatement; We were having a painfully awful week, our faith being tested.  While we were both struggling, neither had any idea the other was also having a tough week.  One night toward the end of that miserable string of days, while communicating about an upcoming class project, we started talking about life.

We inquired about each other's majors, plans, aspirations, etc.
This conversation we had was 100% planned by God.
Absolutely on purpose.

Without meaning to, and without careful consideration of the words we were saying, we were able to speak truth into each others' lives about the difficulties we face, and to have faith in God through it all.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  It was a big hug from God, only in person form and word form, and not to my physical self, but to my heart.

It astonishes me that God would take such a coincidence- a woman sitting next to me in class who is also having a bad day- and use it to comfort my soul.

But then again, I don't really believe in coincidence...



PS I am leading a college-aged mission trip with Adventures in Missions this summer.  The trip costs $1500 and lasts two months.  If you are interested in supporting me, you can either do it here (make sure to select "Passport" and put Kiersten Smith in the name box), mail a check to 
Adventures In Missions
P.O. Box 534470
Atlanta, GA 30353-4470 
With my name in the memo line
Or email me at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com to find out more info.

It's All for My Good

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28

"You make all things work together for my good." -Your Love Never Fails by Jesus Culture Feat. Chris Quilala

God has been using this verse and this song the last two and a half weeks to reassure me that He has everything under control, and that whatever obstacles I face, I will come out better for the glory of God than when I was introduced to it.

God is in the process of transforming me with this idea.
I am being forced to look at my heart to see if I trust God enough to believe this.
I am having to decide if I believe this enough to live it.


I was once told "There are new depths to walk into.  Depths of God, who He is, His spirit.  But the deeper you go, the less you can take with you, surrendering everything."


I feel God is asking me to follow Him into these new depths, and He is asking me to surrender my expectations.  Expectations of what I think I need to do, of what I think my relationship with God needs to look like, of what I think my future needs to hold.  He is asking me to believe that He will make all things work together for my good, to believe that He will see me through to the end, and to believe that I can throw my back-up plans out the window.


This is absolutely terrifying.  But I have decided I believe that God makes all things work together for my good.  I have decided I believe it enough to start living it.


This is a new chapter in my life.  I don't know what it looks like yet, but I am excited to see where God takes me.

It Looks Like Rain

These are the nights I praise God most.

The breeze slowly starts working it's way to a howl,
there is just enough heat and humidity to break a sweat on a short walk,
and the clouds hang so low and dark you can smell the oncoming rain.

These are the signs of a nighttime thunderstorm.
Soon lightning will break across the sky,
branches will fall off trees,
and buildings will shake with thunder.

God takes nights like these to remind me what goodness He can bring from the turmoil of a thunderstorm.

That chilly rain washes away the dirt from the air and the heat from the sun the same way His presence washes the soot from my mind.  Rain bathes the day with a fresh beginning for tomorrow the same way God has made me new.  Rain gives the earth the opportunity to produce growth the same way God equips me and gives me opportunity to grow.

Even though while in the storm things look very ominous and the wind whipping the debris through the streets seems violent, the impressive part is what can happen as a result of the storm.

I Looked Crazy

Life update:

Still stressed out.

Still in school.

Still working at Perkins.

Still relying solely on God to provide (trying, anyway.  Some days I seem to think I can provide better than God).

I've been faced with many challenges these past few weeks.  It's been rough.  There were numerous times when it felt like Satan crushed me and there was nothing that could be done.  I have felt completely defeated.

I know, I should have told you sooner.  I wish I had so that you could have been praying with me, but my pride and stubbornness got in the way of me sharing this with you.  I apologize for not being completely honest about my struggles.

BUT

I have good news :)

Today started off like the past several days.  I woke up feeling like I had already lost, so why put forth any effort?  Satan overwhelmed me and drowned me in lies.

While I was at work, which tends to be the most taxing part of my days, Satan pushed me further into the lies.

And then God pulled me out of the gloom that I was engulfed in, and He said, "choose to be joyful."

I find this particularly funny because this is something my boyfriend says to me a lot.  I always pretended like I knew what it meant, but I really had no idea until tonight.

I know I looked absolutely ridiculous, but I started with a smile.  It was the cheesiest, most insincere smile I have ever worn, but I had to start somewhere.  So I started here:

I told you.  I looked crazy.  I actually look like one of those clowns from the horror movies.  Throw some extra makeup on my face and I might be chasing you in your nightmares.

Despite how crazy I looked, it worked.  The smile started becoming real instead of fake, and before I knew it I was singing, giving praises and thanks to God, and laughing.

Because today was the first time I have successfully chosen joy, I don't yet know the inner-workings of it, but as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you all know :)

Life update complete!

PS I am leading a college age mission trip this summer with Adventures in Missions, and would love for you to prayerfully consider supporting me in this ministry.  I am very excited for this trip, but I cannot do it without your help.  If you would like to know how to best support me, shoot me an email at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com and I can give you any info you are looking for and answer any questions you have.

Happy Presidents' Day!

Happy Presidents' Day!

I got you a present.

It's a new blog!

This is the "get to know Kiersten through pictures" blog.

This is the view outside my window.

It is February 20th.  I live in Minnesota.  There is no snow.  This is the kind of winter I don't mind.

This is my deaf puppy, Luna.

This is my old but adorable dog, Zoie.

I collect postcards.  This is about 3/4 of my current collection.

I love Harry Potter.

I am entertained by silly things.

I spent hours doing this...

I really like to color my hair.  I have had 18 different colors in my hair the past 21 years of my life.  Here are a few.

black and white

brown

black hair

blonde highlights

blonde on top, black on bottom

black and purple

black and red

black, pink and blonde

I'm kind of a nerd.

I know how to ice skate.  See?  I would blend in really well with Olympic figure skaters ('cause I'm in camouflage.  Get it? :P)

This is the day I learned how to swim and kayak.

I was a really cute baby!

I have rafted the Nile.

I am usually a zombie for Halloween.  I also double as Kurt Cobain most years (happy birthday today Kurt!).

This is my family.

Thanks for getting to know me!

p.s. I'm leading a college age mission trip this summer with Adventures in Missions.  It will be two months long, and if you're interested in supporting me and want to know how to do it, you can email me at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com

Divine Provision

You all must have prayed really hard for God to provide and for me to trust Him to do that.  Well thank you.  They worked! :)

Yesterday, before I went to work, I posted "A Prayer Post" on asked for your prayers (it's still on here if you want to view it and continue to pray for me).  While I was driving to work I was praying so, so hard for it to get busy while I was serving so I could make lots of tips.  Wanna know what happened?

Within three minutes of me walking through the door we got busy.  I made over 2 times the amount of money I would have any other Tuesday.  Praise God!

But it gets better.

I had today off of work, and have still been kind of worried about my financial situation.  I was praying on my way to and from school that God would provide all that I need, and that I would know that what He does provide is all that I need (i.e. I don't need chocolate milk, candy, movies, etc.).  I asked Him again to just make sure I have all my financial needs met (right now my situation is looking pretty grim so I keep getting stuck on the money thing) and I got a phone call from a neighboring Perkins who was short a server tonight and was hoping I would be able to pick up the extra shift.  You best believe I took that wonderful gift from God!

Moral of the story:  I need to keep believing God will provide for me, knowing that He hears all of my prayers and knows all of my needs.

It would be phenomenal if you could keep praying for me.  The list is only one blog back!  And again, if there is anything I can be praying about for you, don't be afraid to let me know!

A Prayer Post

Okay, it's been over a week since I last posted.  You might be wondering how I'm doing.  Let me tell you how I'm doing.

I am stressed out.

Yup, I sure am.

Now, I don't mean to make this a post complaining about my life, please don't take it as that, but I'm just gonna make a list of things I would like prayer for in my own life.  It would make a huge difference if you could pray for these things even once while you're reading.  I would appreciate it so much!

So here's the list:

-please pray that I continue to put all my faith in God, that He will provide everything I need (especially financially).
-please pray that I manage my time well, dividing it between homework, family time, God time, etc.
-please pray for energy!  I haven't been sleeping all too well, and it's starting to affect me.
-please pray for my neck and back to stop hurting.  I am seeing a chiropractor, which is helping, but if God could just heal me so I can stop paying the chiropractor to realign my spine, that would be nice. :)
-and last but most definitely not least, please pray that I look to God for all my worth, that I love Him above all else, and that He can keep shaping me into who He wants me to be.

Thank you all so much!  Also, I am super willing to pray for you, too.  If you have something you want prayer for, leave it in a comment or feel free to email me at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com

Missionary in America

Hi, my name is Kiersten and I’m a missionary.  “Hi Kiersten,” the crowd replies, then we move on to the next person who has taken God’s command of “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19) to heart.

I have been feeling slightly out of place ever since coming back from Africa.  Anyone who has been on a mission trip to a place they fell in love with will probably tell you that home no longer feels exactly like home.  Africa stole my heart and affections, and I will be back there someday, but for now I am in the U.S. doing God’s will here.  But I am stuck on one question that I cannot seem to answer; what is God’s will for me here?

I am currently reading Radical by David Platt.  It is an amazing book about “Taking back your faith from the American Dream,” (as it says on the cover) and I would encourage any of you interested to read it.  As I was reading through the chapter “The Great Why of God,” I was doing a lot of underlining and circling of phrases when I came upon this little passage;

“Among Christians in Birmingham (where I [David Platt] pastor), I [Platt] often hear this statement phrased something like this: “I don’t need to go to all nations, because God has given me a heart for the United States.”

My first reaction was to be proud that I was listening to the great commission and going to the nations.  And then I realized that I have been saying the exact opposite thing.  “I don’t belong in the U.S. because God has given me a heart for Africa.”  …. Really, Kiersten?  Is the United States not a country of the world that needs to know God’s love?

Then I re-remembered all the people I come into contact with every day, every week, and every year.  Now, I do not believe in making any person a project, I do not think you should look at a person and think, ‘by the end of the year I’ll get them to love Jesus,' because:

1.       It is not you and I who could ever give anyone salvation, only God can do that and

2.       It makes the person feel like an object rather than someone so worthy of being loved.

But I do believe in loving every person to the best of your abilities.

Love is a choice, by the way.  You can choose to love someone, or you can choose to hate them.  I have spent years trying to convince myself that I had no control over this, but I do.  That is not to say that loving someone who does not love you back is easy.  Heck, it’s not always easy to love someone who does love you back.  But loving all other people is fundamental to life, especially a Christian life (read the Bible and you’ll see how we are commanded to love, you’ll even see God and Jesus being our examples in this).

I look at my life and think, ‘can I make loving the people I come into contact with every  day, every week, every year a mission trip right here where I live?’  Of course I can.  That’s exactly what a mission trip is, anyway.  You would not travel halfway around the world if you did not love.  You would not tear down and rebuild a lunchroom for children at a school if you did not love.  You would not spend years upon years in medical school to help others if you did not love.

Again, I am not making anyone a project.  I am not looking at any single person and saying, ‘I will choose to love you today because God told me I have to,’ or ‘I will choose to care about you today because it makes me feel like I accomplished something,’ but I will do my best to love everyone to the best of my abilities.

God has not given me a heart of America.  He has not given me a heart for Africa, or Asia, or South America or Europe or the Antarctic or the ocean or an urban area or a rural area.  No, God has given me a heart to love, and that is how I am a missionary in America- with love.

Welcome to My Life

Hey!  So, this is my blog.  I started this while I was preparing to head out to Uganda on a mission trip Sept.-Dec. 2011, but I never kept up with it.  So I'm restarting!  Welcome to my restart. :)

The main reason I'm getting this guy restarted is because I want people who want to be involved in my life through prayer and support to have the opportunity to do so.  I will be posting on new things going on in my life, things I am pondering, things I want prayer for, etc.  I'm gonna try to post as often as I can, but we all know how life can get :P


Speaking of life, let me tell you about mine.

My name is Kiersten.  I am 21 and currently live with my family in Minneapolis, MN while going to school at North Hennepin Community College, where I am hoping to get my Associate's in business management.  I go to school full time.  I also work part time at Perkins Restaurant and Bakery as a server and a shift leader.

I got back from a 3 1/2 month long mission trip from Uganda a little more than a month ago where I made some best friends, learned some amazing lessons, and got to be closer to God than I ever have been.  The trip was incredible and, up to the this point, the best thing I've experienced.  I expect to experience many more incredible, awesome, exciting things.

All of these future expectations revolve around God.  He has big, big plans for this world, and He wants me to play a part in those plans.

Some of His plans for me involve leading a trip with Adventures in Missions, which I have applied for and am currently waiting to be interviewed for the position.  Some other plans include getting (at least) my Associate's Degree (maybe even my Bachelor's, I'm not clear on that point yet).

Even though I've been back in the states a little longer than a month, I'm still trying to get used to it.  Adjusting back to the cold, the food, and the business that are here has been somewhat difficult, but God is teaching me how to be joyful in all situations and seasons of life.

That being said, I must now return to my business and get ready for a shift at Perkins.  Thanks for reading, and I'll keep you as updated as I can!

In Christ,
Kiersten