I Looked Crazy

Life update:

Still stressed out.

Still in school.

Still working at Perkins.

Still relying solely on God to provide (trying, anyway.  Some days I seem to think I can provide better than God).

I've been faced with many challenges these past few weeks.  It's been rough.  There were numerous times when it felt like Satan crushed me and there was nothing that could be done.  I have felt completely defeated.

I know, I should have told you sooner.  I wish I had so that you could have been praying with me, but my pride and stubbornness got in the way of me sharing this with you.  I apologize for not being completely honest about my struggles.

BUT

I have good news :)

Today started off like the past several days.  I woke up feeling like I had already lost, so why put forth any effort?  Satan overwhelmed me and drowned me in lies.

While I was at work, which tends to be the most taxing part of my days, Satan pushed me further into the lies.

And then God pulled me out of the gloom that I was engulfed in, and He said, "choose to be joyful."

I find this particularly funny because this is something my boyfriend says to me a lot.  I always pretended like I knew what it meant, but I really had no idea until tonight.

I know I looked absolutely ridiculous, but I started with a smile.  It was the cheesiest, most insincere smile I have ever worn, but I had to start somewhere.  So I started here:

I told you.  I looked crazy.  I actually look like one of those clowns from the horror movies.  Throw some extra makeup on my face and I might be chasing you in your nightmares.

Despite how crazy I looked, it worked.  The smile started becoming real instead of fake, and before I knew it I was singing, giving praises and thanks to God, and laughing.

Because today was the first time I have successfully chosen joy, I don't yet know the inner-workings of it, but as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you all know :)

Life update complete!

PS I am leading a college age mission trip this summer with Adventures in Missions, and would love for you to prayerfully consider supporting me in this ministry.  I am very excited for this trip, but I cannot do it without your help.  If you would like to know how to best support me, shoot me an email at kiersten.smith@hotmail.com and I can give you any info you are looking for and answer any questions you have.